I Guess You'll See This In the Morning

It's borderline depressing the Dallas - Golden State series is taking place in the Western Conference. These games are probably the best advertising and promotion that the NBA has had since Lebron James was a senior in high school, and no one is seeing them except NBA superfans and people who don't have to be awake before 11am (fortunately I belong to both camps). I hate to get all high and mighty on the NBA; hell we've got young, up and coming NBA blogger Bill Simmons for that, but this game ended at 12:45am on Wednesday and it was probably the earliest finish of the series. And the NBA may end up regretting this...

The league has worked many angles in the last decade to recruit fans who have never watched basketball/bring back fans who have stopped watching. Let's look at some of them, the target audience, and the end result:

• WNBA(female viewers): The WNBA has maintained a rather strong fan base... for the WNBA. I don't know that any WNBA fan would think about the NBA itself, other than to proclaim the superiority of the fundamentals-based game in the WNBA. I can't imagine any way that the NBA has benefited from the WNBA, especially given the massive amount of face time and marketing the NBA has had forced on it.
• The Rookie Superstar(young kids, those looking for the "next Jordan"): The big example here would be Lebron James' appearance on the NBA scene as a junior in high school. Although, many basketball purists and internet columnists who are bummed their teams are in the lottery would have you believe that the Oden/Durant situation is one of national interest. The very audience targeted here becomes the problem. By trying to entice the people who want the next Jordan, criticism is invited. These are the fans who won't buy tickets to see their local team because they don't have one of the ten legitimate Superstars in the league.
• NBDL(stat geeks, guys who follow minor league baseball): This move was aimed towards people who already follow the game of basketball at an extremely dedicated level. At best, it keeps these people seriously involved. At worst, you end up watching an NBDL game.
• The Dress Code/Age Requirement(cranky white people): Give it up, these people are watching the NFL, where any semblance of personality or showmanship will likely earn someone a vertebrae-crushing gang tackle. All these rules have done is heightened the non-viewers' reaction to any incident. Look at it this way, whose public tantrum-throwing kid looks worse? The parent who drags them out by the hand and grounds them at home; or the strung-out parent that starts screaming louder and more obnoxiously than the kid? David Stern is looking more and more like a mother of three at Six Flags every day.

The one push that has worked has been the International explosion of the past few years. It has made for better basketball, and gotten fans from every country to look to the NBA as the preeminent league in the world. Niche fans across the world keep up with the league's every move; shit, even an upstart, independent blog like this manages to get views in Spain, Australia, and Hungary(We love you Budapest!). Stern's got the globe locked up, but can't figure out how he's going to attract the people who don't watch the NBA in the US.

The games, stupid. The games. I read this week that even good basketball is conducive to the highlight package; alley-oop, hard foul, game winning shot, box score. The idea that any sports fan would prefer that to the entire second half tonight is absurd. Tonight, one of the most exciting basketball games I have ever watched unfolded in the late-evening/early-morning hours. The second half was a flurry of back and forth threes, drives, and a lot more threes. If you show this game to ten people who haven't watched a game all year, nine of them would probably watch the rest of the playoffs.

But until David Stern manages to trim the excess of the playoffs, these games will remain unseen. My solution? Contract the league and schedule, put six teams per conference in the post-season, five-game first round. Completely unrealistic and excessive, but it would guarantee parity, quality, and excitement in the playoffs. This series arrived by the grace of god. No eight seed has ever been this well prepared for the top team in the league. It will likely never happen again. But with a lighter playoff schedule the public would be able to watch nightly, prime-time match ups, and the likelihood of catching a game like tonight's would increase tenfold. The more people that see it, the more people that enjoy it. Who knows, this might not make any sense since it's 3am now.

That Just Happened! : Weekend Wrap-Up

Eastern Conference

Florida was hit by Hurricane Legitimate East Teams this weekend, with the Pistons and Bulls finishing off sweeps of the Magic and Heat. The Cavs put the Wizards on the ropes, beating them despite 38 points from Antawn Jamison. Sorry Wizards fans, that's about as good as it's going to get. If you've been watching the Playoffs at all, none of this should be too surprising. From the gate it looked as if all these teams were going to walk away with these series, and getting them done with quickly bodes well for some good match-ups next round.

Meanwhile, I haven't seen momentum swings like the Nets-Raptors series since I dated a schizophrenic in college (attn Psych majors: a clinic for college cheerleaders is a million dollar idea). On Sunday, the Nets gave the Raptors the business, 102-81. Now are they going to stick with the Nets we saw on Sunday and wrap this one up, or are they going to go flat again when they get back to Toronto. If my experience in college holds true they'll probably ignore me until I start talking to another girl, then try to stick their hand down my pants in the middle of a party.

Western Conference

The Nuggets' defense continues to fall apart after a promising start to the series and now that San Antonio seems to have woken up on the defensive end, the Nuggets' look completely out of sync. Things look to be heading in the same direction with the Houston Rockets. In this match-up of big time defenses who guessed that Mehmet Okur and Deron Williams were going to be out pacing McGrady and Yao. If Houston's defense can regain composure they can pull this series together. On the other hand, if the Nuggets don't get a monster game out of Iverson and Anthony in game 4, the Spurs will close them out quick.

With the Suns getting right back on track and out-pacing the Lakers, the only big story out of the West came late on Sunday night.

Being from the New York area, I can only dream (and I mean that literally, there's no chance) of what it would be like to be in the shoes of a Golden State Warriors fan. Just in case you've been watching with the volume down, go over to 100% Injury Rate or Golden State of Mind to understand the absolute insanity going on in the Bay Area right now. It's completely contagious too; I was yelling on the couch, the announcers were screaming to be heard, and everyone on the Warriors was screaming because... well, because a lot of those guys are pretty crazy. With Golden State looking like the only basketball Cinderella story this year (college or pros), I'm just going to put on some quiet shoes and see if I can tiptoe my way onto the bandwagon without anyone noticing I'm late. I mean there's gotta be some way for me to get on, what with the blog name and all.

That Just Happened! : Weekend Wrap-up

Gonna try and wrap up the opening weekend of the playoffs with some observations, some numbers and some superlatives. If Stephen Jackson has the best line of the night, everyone in attendance will receive a box of ammo.

Saturday's Slate:

New Jersey Nets 96, Toronto Raptors 91.
This one wasn't quite this close. The Nets had the game pretty well in hand by the fourth and just had to hold off a late surge by Toronto's feisty Euros (I include Anthony Parker under the Euro blanket) to get the win. Vince Carter's over-hyped playoff debut in Toronto was dud; he scored just 16, shooting 5-19. Chris Bosh led the Raptors with 22 but was largely a non-factor, even having his rebound total DOUBLED by Jason Kidd. Kidd had a classic game, getting 10 boards to go with his 15 assists and involving the team enough that they barely noticed Carters no-show. Kidd was all hustle, getting probably half those rebounds in his normally pesky manner by slapping the ball out of the hands of the Raps big man who grabbed it. Richard Jefferson led the Nets with 28.

Chicago Bulls 96, Miami Heat 91
The Heat should have known they were in trouble when the Diesel has 17 and 5 in the first half and they were still down by three. O'Neal scored just two in the second half and tried to blame the drop off on unfair treatment by the officials. I'm not exactly buying it (and I'm not the only one), I would guess he gassed himself in the first and that attributed to sloppier play in the second. Luol Deng had a big game (32 & 8, .636 from the field) and it seems like hes going to thrive in a series against the only NBA front line to have two forwards suspended for over-eating.

Detroit Pistons 100, Orlando Magic 92
I was just thinking this thing was getting too long and that I should start skipping some games. If you can't beat the Pistons in the first game of the first round, you don't deserve to be written about.

Houston Rockets 84, Utah Jazz 75
McGrady and Yao score 23 and 28 respectively and, much like the Nuggets, the Rockets seem to be finding their stride at the right time. The worst way to counter a team like this? Have one of your starters completely forget how to play basketball. Andrei Kirilenko ended up getting benched, playing only 16 terrible minutes. Carlos Boozer didn't pick up the slack(11 points on 4-17) and a team with two superstars playing their best ball will beat a team with no superstars playing like garbage every time.

The Cannon: Luol Deng - 33pts, 8reb, .636. Staking his claim as the Bull's superstar.

The Silencer: Jason Kidd - 8pts, 10reb, 15ast. All hustle and vision, keeps it moving.

The Slingshot: AK-47 (how ironic) - 16 min, 2pts, 1 foul. Good time to shit the bed.

Chuck's Quote of the Night: "Carlos Boozer played?!?!" (made on Sunday, but relevant)

Early morning update. Sunday's Games will be up by noon. Thanks to everyone who checked us out this weekend and a special thanks to Will at Deadspin for the link Friday afternoon. Tell your friends and use the comments, we'll be here for the next two months.

Western Conference First Round Preview

#2 Phoenix Suns vs. #7 Los Angeles Lakers

We can officially add the multiple Kobe Bryant debates to the ever-increasing list of annoying sports arguments that won't ever go away. Is he better than Jordan? Can he ever be a true team player instead of pure scoring machine? It's like he's NBA version of Michael Vick. The media can't help but debate this guy and his antics, although Vick's antics did give us this gem...



In ESPN the magazine this week, it was the very first question asked in the Stu Scott mailbag, "Stu- What do you think about this 'Kobe being better than Jordan' debate?" Which begs the two following questions: a) Why the hell was I reading this? and b) Who the hell cares what Stu Scott thinks about anything except booty calls to former NFL cheerleaders.?

OK, time to actually PREVIEW this series:

Remember last year when Kobe showed up on the TNT studio show to break down the Suns, amongst other things? The guy actually did a great job. He put Magic and Reggie to shame, in my opinion. And he made Kiki Vandeweghe, Allan Houston and Jamal Mashburn look like a trio of 12 year old girls yapping about the NBA. Then again, that's not all that difficult.

But Kobe's major point was: to beat the Suns, you need to break their collective will defensively. Simply scoring on them does nothing. In fact, sometimes they'd almost RATHER you score just so they can get the ball back quicker. And the best way to achieve this, in Kobe's opinion, was to get HIS guys more involved in the offense, that is, the more a guy scores, the more likely he is to be flying around on defense wreaking havoc.

That being said, the Lakers have no chance. NONE. They're simply bringing a knife to a gun fight, they don't have the horses, I could keep going with these loser cliches but you get the idea.

The Lakers could really use an upgrade at the point guard position. I find myself watching Laker games saying, "Holy shit, Smush Parker really sucks." And I don't think I'm alone on that one. They could really use any guy who kills it out there. Any guy who plays solid, tough D, and can guard the other team's best guard. A guy who's going to hustle for every loose ball and be happy playing a Scottie Pippen-type role to Kobe's Jordan (stay with me, I do have a point). Basically someone like Caron Butler. Imagine if the Wiz would ever bite on a Kwame Brown for Caron Butler trade. Get Mitch Kupchak on the phone. He should get on that. Or maybe he never should've made that exact trade in the first place.

Above everything else, the Suns have to win this in four, five at the absolute most. They totally fucked themselves last year by sleepwalking through the first two games and letting that thing go seven. And after ANOTHER seven gamer against the Clippers, no wonder they were gassed by the time they saw Dallas. The Suns are gonna need every once of energy they have to take down the Spurs and Dallas back to back. They can't be bothered with another dogfight in round 1.

Pick: lock-it-up, Suns in 4. - Absentee post by Team Der

Western Conference First Round Preview

#1 Dallas Mavericks vs. #8 Golden State Warriors

If you're all done ghost-riding your whips now, it's time for a reality check: Golden State will not win this series. Listen Yay Area, no one loves Don Nelson more than me (no homo, Tim Hardaway) and that's exactly why I don't think the Warriors stand a chance. Don Nelson instituted the offensive system that Dallas is using to the tune of 100ppg this year. He basically took the original Golden State three-guard system and replaced one guard (probably you, Sarunas Marciulionis) with a seven-foot tall German who can shoot like a guard; a really, really good guard.

I'm speaking of course of MVP candidate Dirk Nowitzki. Why is he an MVP candidate? His team had the best record in the league, put together some historic winning streaks, and basically dominated all but a few teams in the league. Dirk himself had slight drop-offs in the major statistical categories (24.6, 8.9, & 3.4) but had his best year shooting the ball(.502 & .416 from 3). The increase in shooting percentage could probably be attributed to an even further maturation in his game helping him realize how to use the fact that he's a nightmare defensive match-up to get easier shots.



I know the Golden State coaching staff fell asleep when i said "defensive match-up" (someone kick the back of Keith Smart's chair). The fact is Nelson did a great job in honing this team into a shockingly efficient offensive machine, scoring 106.5 ppg. They're a blast to watch, and the one or two games this series that they take it to the Mavs will be some of the most fun basketball of the first round. But Don Nelson is also a nice, old guy. He was happy when the Warriors clinched and has probably been giving the team hard candies and taking them for ice cream at Friendly's since Wednesday night. Meanwhile, Avery Johnson has been the thorn in his entire team's ass, shouting at them in that goddamn voice of his about playing defense. Johnson kept the Mavericks motivated all season until they had the top spot locked up, and I don't see him losing this team now.

Pick: Since Tim Hardaway can't perform the UTEP 2-Step within 500 yards of an NBA game, Mavs in 5.

Eastern Conference First Round Preview

#4 Miami Heat vs. #5 Chicago Bulls

In far and away the best Eastern Conference first round match-up, the Baby Bulls take on the broken down defending champion Heat.

The Heat are broken down. There is no getting around this. Shaq is Shaq, except hes a year older. Pat Riley had a hip replaced in the middle of the season. Dwayne Wayne has a stronger move to his left than Dwayne Wade right now. The rest of the team is compilation of spare parts. Do the Heat have all the experience in this series? Of course. Is experience another way for saying old age? Of course.

The Bulls however, have none of the experience, and all the athleticism. The Bulls have no superstars, save Ben Wallace, who is only a superstar because he was underrated for so long somehow that turned into him being overrated and getting 60 million to do the same thing as Tyson Chandler did last season. And while the Bulls don't have any superstars, here's what the do have; Kirk Hinrich (good), Ben Gordon(good), Luol Deng (good), Andre Nocioni (good), Chris Duhon (good), and Malik Allen (well not good but he went to Villanova, so he should get written about by someone). Plus 12 fouls to throw at Shaq in Ben Wallace and PJ Brown. The play of Luol Deng (18, 7.2, 2) will probably be the key to the series, as Miami has no one to match up with him. In fact '07 Playoffs may be the coming out party for Deng and will justify why the Bulls were unwilling to package him in any deal at the trade deadline.

The other key to the series, and maybe the Eastern Conference playoffs, will be the shoulder of Dwayne Wade. This series, however, is a bad match-up for that shoulder. The Bulls run more pick and rolls than any other team in the East. With Hinrich running the point and the bodies the Bulls have to throw at Wade, the Bulls have the ability to make Wade's shoulder a consistent aggravation at both ends of the floor.

Pick: If you have read this far and dont know the pick, well just keep reading, its the Bulls in 6. (One caveat with this pick, everyone is picking the Bulls, and usually when everyone is picking against the defending champions in the first round of the playoffs, everyone looks stupid a week later).

Eastern Conference First Round Preview

#3 Toronto Raptors vs. #6 New Jersey Nets

As you can see in the attached picture, way back a prophetic Vince Carter told a ten year-old Lebron James that he would see him in the second round of the 2007 playoffs. But even Vince
couldn't have foreseen the grudge match he'd get in the first round. At the end of the Net's final regular season game when this match-up was solidified, Vince was asked about any bad blood
between him and the Toronto Raptors and categorically denied any on his part. However, it looks like Dave D'Alessandro of the Newark Star-Ledger blew up his spot (with some help from Nets 16th man Antoine Wright):

A bunch of guys said yesterday that(the match-up with the Raptors) is precisely what he wants (Antoine: "He's up for it. I don't think there's any doubt about it. He wants it")

Given Vince's supposed knack for turning it on/off, is it any surprise he's registered three triple-doubles since Gilbert Arenas went down and the likelihood of catching the Wizards increased? It would seem that if anyone is going to show up (paging Richard Jefferson), it's going to be Vince.

But even with Jefferson shooting a combined 24 for 69 (.348 !!!!!) over the last five games, the offense won't be the big issue. The loss of Nenad Kristic, their only real interior defensive presence, hit this team HARD on the defensive end. For the 2005-6 regular season they allowed a fairly stingy 92.4ppg . This year, the average is up to 98.3. This could pose a significant problem against a Toronto team that ranked 5th in the East in ppg.



The other problem the Nets face on defense is CB4, or as I refer to him, Chris FUCKING Bosh. This guy is an animal(no Imus) and gets traditional big-man numbers (22.6, 10.7, 1.3 blocks). But he is an athletic, lengthy guy who plays away from the basket as well. Just like the guy who would be guarding him, Kristic. Instead, the Nets with be forced to go with the Twenty-Four Foul Special of Jason Collins, Josh Boone, Mikki Moore, and Clifford the Big Red Dog. And even then, they're looking at a 78% free-throw shooter in Bosh. Ouch.

Pick: Cb4 gives the Nets the sweat from his balls in 7.

Eastern Conference First Round Preview

#2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #7 Washington Wizards

One of a few rematchs of great series from the 2006 playoffs. Who can forget Gilbert Arenas banging home tape measure threes to keep the Wizards alive? Who doesn't remember Lebron James' taunts before Gilbert's crucial free throws in the waning moments of the series? Well hold on tight to those memories, because this series is gonna stink.

Everyone's read about Caron Butler's hope to be ready to go for the second round. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there isn't going to be a second round for the Wizards. Like they say, "don't hit the messenger in the jaw with your heavily tattooed, but brittle, hand." Caron shouldn't feel responsible though, because even if he had been ready for the first round it would have most likely been a long shot that they advanced without Arenas anyway. He's far too integral a piece on this team, averaging 28.4ppg, for them to realistically hope to advance against the Cavs. They're just lucky he hurt himself on Wednesday April 4 rather than Sunday Feb 18th, which will forever be remember as the day Gilbert went between his legs off a trampoline (as well as the day I didn't get out of bed in my Las Vegas hotel room). Otherwise, the Wizards probably wouldn't be here at all.

That said, even with Antawn Jamison at the helm, I think the Wizards could take a game or two from the Cavs. They've got a great home record (mostly due to the fact that Arenas tends to go off at home, but I'm throwing bones here) and the Cavs come in with with 21 of their 32 losses coming on the road. The Verizon Center will definitely be rocking with the Wizards as huge underdogs, and King James seems pretty content this year to let a couple games get away here and there.

Pick: With the Wizards as plucky underdogs and Lebron(and those other clowns) planning to waltz their way to the Conference Finals, the Wizards take two: Cavs in 6.

Eastern Conference First Round Preview

#1 Detroit Pistons vs. #8 Orlando Magic

This one could be ugly. Even putting aside the obvious differences in talent, experience, and coaching; these are two teams headed in opposite directions. Orlando jumped out to a 12-4 start in November on the back of the first of Dwight Howard's 60 double-double's for the season (23 and 24 ?!?!?). But, much like the Kansas City Royals or Milwaukee Brewers or whatever shitty baseball team jumped out to a 6-3 start this season, this magical (hilarious) season couldn't last. Howard's a beast, but without any legitimate shooting guards on the team (Jameer Nelson led all Magic guards with 13.0ppg) he was fighting off double and triple teams all season. This led to an awful 18-23 record in the second half. While they've won six of their last seven, five of these wins came against teams either actively trying to lose or not trying to win. In fact, their only loss during this stretch came at the hands of, you guessed it, the Detroit Pistons.

On the other hand, the Pistons went 29-12 in the second half and made arguably the best pick-up of the season in Chris Webber. Now if I had millions of dollars and Webber's weed habits (I guess I have at least one of these), I would have spent the rest of the season on the couch with a PS3 and a 25 pound bag of gummy bears. But Webber saw this as inspiration to revitalize his game. I would argue it had as much to do with the Piston's system as it did with any sort of revelation on Webber's part. Richard Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince in particular are adept at cutting to the basket and making the most of Webber's passing out of the post, and Billups is always there to provide an option off the dribble to mix things up. Plus, worst-case scenario, if the Pistons are down three with a second to go, Sheed could always do this:


Pick: Unless I missed the news and they moved the Cannabis Cup to Detroit this weekend, Pistons in 4